


Be gentle with this pain of mine

by Morningstar96



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is the best sister, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional comfort and healing, F/F, First Kiss, Getting Together, Kara get seriously injured, Kara needs a hug, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena is worried and probably needs a therapist, PTSD, Reveal Fic, They deserve a nice date, They're all tired and need a rest, They're goddamn adults and sort through their shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 05:07:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17237963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morningstar96/pseuds/Morningstar96
Summary: Kara sustains a massive Kryptonite injury, which leads to Lena discovering she's Supergirl.What follows is a mutual recognition of their mistakes, personal traumas and feelings, and of learning how to address said feelings and the general complexity of being who they are.Because honestly, what are fics for?





	Be gentle with this pain of mine

_BOOM._

Kara hit the brick building with her usual catastrophic force, grunting as she dimly registered the impact. This alien- she didn’t know his species- was a lot stronger than he looked, strong even for Kara.

‘Look, I’m not interested in fighting. What’s your deal? Maybe I can help you,’ she said, picking herself back up and wiping dust from her shoulder while keeping a sharp eye on her opponent.

As was usually the case with her alien opponents, he began rambling about how he’d been imprisoned by her mother and therefore had nobody else to take his revenge on but Supergirl.

‘Look, I get it,’ Kara said tiredly, ‘but I am not my mother. She did a lot of questionable things, imprisoned a lot of people she maybe shouldn’t have. Tell me your case, and I’ll try and put things right.’

The alien had been trapped for too long, had been too far poisoned by thoughts of revenge. He screeched in fury, started running toward Kara with blinding speed- and that was when she saw the Kryptonite sword in his hand.

She was briefly frozen by fear- _where on earth had he gotten that?-_ and that moment of hesitation was all that he needed.

Before she knew it, he was upon her- and there was an indescribable pain as he plunged the blade downwards. It sank through her midsection like it was butter, just beneath the ribs, and every single nerve flared up in response- Kara screamed until her throat hurt, until her voice died and she was left gulping uselessly for air. Her opponent snarled and backed off, kicking her feet as he left.

Kara’s vision went black.

 

When she came to, the first thing she registered was the blinding pain: her nerves on fire, her bones melting, her muscle fibres fraying, her blood slowly boiling- she was being poisoned by this toxic remnant of her home world, and Rao, _this was not how she’d wanted to die._

She was flat on her back. The sword had pinned her into the dirt, like some common insect in an entomologist’s collection, and she couldn’t move. She was stuck, and utterly alone, in a part of the city’s edge she wasn’t familiar with. She was in some kind of building site, she thought, but the pain wouldn’t let her concentrate on anything more than a few metres around her.

_Call someone._

The idea- ingrained into her after years of Eliza reminding her and Alex to call her whenever they were trouble- settled into her clouded mind. She jerked her arm and slowly, painfully scrabbled at her side until she found a hidden pocket and fished out her phone. She closed her eyes, sucked in a few breaths, and punched in the first number that came to her head. She could feel her pulse becoming thready, and she kept thinking of everyone she’d ever loved- her biological parents, her adopted ones, Alex, J’onn, Winn, James- _Lena._

Her gaze fell upon her torso as she numbly held her phone to her head. She could see the acid green blade sticking straight into her like nothing else could, and she’d never been so terrified of death since she’d watched her planet explode in front of her very eyes.

_Rao, please let me not die here. Don’t let me die alone._

Lena was working late at L-Corp yet again. Jess might show concern about this habit, but Lena did this on purpose: the night time and the empty building meant that she could work in peace, and sometimes Supergirl would wander in on her night patrol and chat. Despite her recent fight with the hero, she couldn’t help but appreciate her efforts to re-establish their relationship, which had admittedly always been delicate. Those quiet late-night conversations were also a welcome break from the day’s work.

So when nine o’ clock came and went, Lena looked up from her work and glanced out at the night sky visible through her glass balcony doors, and couldn’t help a pang of disappointment when there was no familiar flash of a red cape alighting on her balcony. Oh, well. Maybe Kara was still up. They could text until Kara fell asleep, or Lena finally went home, and then she would get to fall asleep not feeling quite so alone.

And that was the moment someone decided to call her. The sound of her ringtone was jarring in the cool silence of her office, but Lena picked it up anyway; usually it was only Kara who called her at this time, and sure enough, it was her name on the screen, along with a sultry Instagram selfie Lena had shamelessly (okay, maybe a _bit_ shamefully) downloaded from Kara’s profile.

‘Kara, hi,’ Lena said, twirling her pen as she looked out into the sky again. ‘It’s been a while.’

‘Lena…’ That was definitely Kara’s voice on the other side of the line. What was shocking was how pained Kara sounded.

‘Kara, are you okay?’ Lena said, alarm spiking through her. She could hear Kara’s shallow breathing, which was somehow even worse, and she was suddenly very much ready to destroy whatever or whoever had hurt Kara.

‘Lena- Lena, I don’t know where I am. I’m scared, I’- a sudden hacking cough, and Lena was pretty sure Kara was coughing up blood judging from the faint liquid sound.

Lena’s grip on her desk tightened until her knuckles went white. ‘Kara, where are you? Are you hurt? I can send an ambulance, the police, pick you up- whatever you need, just give me some idea of where you are. Can you look around and find something to identify your location?’ Lena tried to keep calm, but she was already on her feet and racing out onto the balcony, hoping to whatever gods existed that Supergirl would show up so she could send her on her way to Kara.

A few moments of silence from the other end, except for that desperately shallow, pained breathing.

‘Kara, darling, keep talking to me,’ Lena urged, still frantically scanning the skies.

And then came the worst words of all, choked out in a fit of pain. ‘Lena, I- _I can’t move.’_

Lena tried desperately to remain calm. ‘Okay. I’m going to call an ambulance.’

‘Call…Alex…’ came the faint reply.

‘Alright. I’ll call Alex.’

‘Lena?’

‘Yeah?’

The last three words were a shaky whisper. ‘I love you.’ And the line fell silent.

 

‘We’ve lost her signal!’ Alex said, bursting into the tech room and making a beeline to Winn.

‘I know!’ Winn said, agitatedly adjusting the GPS systems. ‘We haven’t just lost her signal- her tracker’s broken. We couldn’t get anything if we tried.’

 _‘Fuck,’_ said Alex, and rubbed her temple. She took a deep breath. It wasn’t the first time they’d lost Kara like this. Usually she’d rock up at the DEO again within an acceptable time frame, or call Alex, or _something,_ but Kara hadn’t been responding to anyone’s calls, and it had been nearly half an hour since they’d lost her signal. ‘Okay, we’ll send out a drone to find her. Get one with night-vision already prepped.’

‘Aye-aye, captain.’ Winn went off to find a drone.

Alex scanned her GPS again, and tried not to worry when the name SUPERGIRL still didn’t show up on the screen. And then her phone rang. Alex picked it up immediately, expecting a belated call from Kara assuring her that she was fine, and blinked in surprise when Lena Luthor’s name came up instead.

‘Miss Luthor?’ Alex queried. Maybe Kara had lost her phone, then decided to visit Lena and use her phone instead. Alex tried to convince herself of that when Lena’s voice did, indeed, reply.

‘I just got a call from Kara, she doesn’t know where she is and she’s been hurt and she told me to call you but I really think I need to call an ambulance, and’-

‘Lena, _calm,’_ Alex ordered. She tamped down her rising panic like she would a smouldering campfire, years of DEO training urging her to think logically instead of scream when she confirmed that her sister was in danger. ‘I’ve just had a drone prepared to go out and find Kara. Did she say what hurt her? Where she is?’

‘No!’ Lena’s voice was more panicked than Alex had ever heard it. ‘She said she was stuck and couldn’t move, and she has no idea where she is, and she suddenly stopped talking and she’s so scared’-

‘Okay,’ Alex interrupted. ‘We’re going after her. She’s going to be alright.’ She said that to reassure Lena as much as herself, but her sisterly fear was already filling her head with the worst-case scenarios. Most of which involved Kryptonite.

‘Drone’s ready!’ Winn announced, strolling back in with a drone in hand.

‘Send it out. We need to find Kara ASAP.’

 

‘That one!’ Lena said, recognising the DEO van. Her driver dutifully chased after it, the Maserati easily keeping up with the old van, and Lena was now seriously wondering where the hell Supergirl was. Maybe she was already tending to Kara and taking her to hospital.

 _Maybe not,_ a persistent voice in her head said. _“I flew here on a bus”._

 _Shut up,_ Lena desperately told the voice. She didn’t want to acknowledge her subconscious suspicion about Kara’s true identity, and she wasn’t going to think about it now.

The Maserati slid to a halt some metres behind the now-parked van. They were in a building site for new houses- Lena could make out the wooden and steel frames in the dim streetlight.

‘Stay until I’m back,’ Lena requested, and her driver nodded as she practically launched herself out of the car.

‘Alex!’ she called out, recognising the tall women’s distinct silhouette even in the darkness.

Alex turned around and blinked at her like a stunned owl. ‘Lena?’

_‘Where is she?’_

‘I don’t know. The drone pinpointed her to this new housing district, we’re going to spread out and look for her.’ Alex frowned. ‘Lena, go home. You’re not an agent.’

Lena gave her a reproachful glare. ‘I can help.’ She jerked her head at the extra torch Alex was carrying. ‘Just give me a torch, Danvers.’

Alex looked strangely hesitant, then apparently decided not to waste time, and handed over a torch. ‘On your own head be it.’

Lena decided not to mull over the meaning of that comment.

They joined the dozen or so other heavily armed agents scanning the vicinity, breath fogging in the frigid night air. Lena’s eyes felt restless as she scoured every inch of the area that she could see, frantic for a glimpse of Kara in her familiar blouse-and-slacks combo. Five eternally long minutes went by like this until an agent’s shout brought them all running to somewhere in the area’s northeast point. Lena glanced up; the nearest building had a familiar Supergirl-shaped hole in it, like she’d yet again been thrown about by an enemy. Was that an old hole, or…?

And then she brought her gaze back to earth, and ran toward the small swarm of DEO agents concentrating at some point twenty metres away from the building. Lena pushed her way through the crowd, heart racing.

‘Kara’-

It was Supergirl. Supergirl, flat on the dirt with her cape and limbs asprawl, and a giant green blade spearing her gut. Nausea rose in Lena as she recognised the Kryptonite- the Kryptonite she’d used to bring down Reign and separate her from Sam, the Kryptonite that had caused her rift with Supergirl in the first place.

 _‘Kara!’_ Lena knelt beside her, and helped Alex wrap bandages around the blade to keep it steady before moving her. ‘Kara, darling, wake up, please’-

‘Lena, cut the bandage,’ Alex ordered, her voice tight with repressed fear.

Lena did as she was ordered. Her hands shook; she’d never seen Supergirl look so small and pale and _oh God her veins are glowing green_ , and suddenly she felt ill at ever accusing her of having a God-complex for fearing Kryptonite. She felt ill knowing that her best friend, the one person who had an unshakeable faith in her, was currently dying in her arms and _oh, God,_ it would be all her fault, she should have burned that Kryptonite stash to the ground as soon as Supergirl had described the pain it caused her-

‘The blade’s stuck in the ground,’ Lena noticed, with a sort of detached horror. She gently eased her hand underneath Supergirl’s heavy (she tried not to think _lifeless)_ body, feeling where the blade had pinned her into the dirt. There was very little blood; the blade was currently plugging the wounds, which meant that they couldn’t risk removing the Kryptonite until Kara was safely ensconced in the DEO hospital bay. ‘We have to pry it out.’

Alex nodded tersely. ‘On the count of three, we unstick the blade.’

They did so. Finally, Supergirl could be moved.

And she watched as Supergirl- _Kara-_ was placed onto a stretcher and vanished into the van.

Lena noticed something fall from Kara’s hand as she was lifted away. She bent down, picked it up, and realised it was her phone. Her throat constricted when she saw her contact screen still active, complete with a candid photo Kara had taken of Lena during one of their brunch sessions.

Three days.

That was how long it took until Alex, exasperated at her constant calls, finally allowed her into DEO headquarters to visit Kara. _Who was still in an induced coma._ During that three-day period, Lena had been tempted to go through Kara’s phone, just to see what kind of apps she liked, and what sort of photos she had on her gallery. But that would have been rude, so she merely kept it in her pocket so she could have something of Kara’s on her while she pushed through tedious board meetings.

‘You’re persistent,’ Alex acknowledged, leading her into the medical bay when Lena arrived at the DEO’s doorstep.

‘Yes, well…’ Lena threw her hands up in the air. ‘She _is_ my best friend.’

Alex’s gaze softened when she noticed how tight and weary Lena looked. ‘I need to thank you. For calling me when you did.’

‘I _was_ going to get an ambulance, but I figured the DEO could handle a medical emergency, too.’ Lena’s voice was stiff and clipped, betraying her weariness. Sleep had been difficult to find these past couple of nights.

They approached the glass window of the bay.

‘You know, I’ve been wondering why she called me instead of you,’ Lena said.

‘I was confused about that too,’ Alex admitted, opening the door.  
Lena loosed a quiet sigh of relief when she saw that the Kryptonite had been removed, Kara’s torso wrapped in bandages, and the sunlamps bathing Kara in a soft golden light. She looked considerably better now- like a small sound would be all that was needed to wake her up.

‘You _were_ confused?’ Lena prompted.

‘And then I realised that, through all the pain, the first person she could think about was you. That was why she called you.’

Lena didn’t know what to make of all this. Now that she could see Kara was safely healing, her brain threw her into a pit of internal conflict. On the one hand, there was a huge sense of betrayal. Why, after all this time, had Kara not revealed her true identity to her? Did she not trust Lena enough, despite claiming to be best friends? On the other hand, she was overwhelmingly relieved that Kara was healing, and she couldn’t deny that she’d been worried sick about her for the past forty-eight hours. And, in all honesty, maybe this was some form of cosmic karma. She’d kept the Kryptonite vault a secret from Supergirl, and Supergirl had kept her identity secret from her. And she’d recognised that sword as from her vault. Someone, somehow, had stolen it, and Kara had almost died as a result. Lena just couldn’t find it in herself to be angry at Kara when she’d kept her own huge and terrible secrets.

They were both guilty.

‘Can she be woken up now?’ Lena said. ‘We need to talk.’

Alex nodded. ‘Yeah. I was going to unhook her in an hour, but I think it’s safe to do it now.’

Lena watched as Alex pried out the specialised needle designed to pierce Kryptonian skin from Kara’s arm.

‘Give her some time to come to,’ Alex said, patting Lena’s shoulder. ‘I’ll be in the tech room if you need me.’ She halted before leaving, a strange look glazing her eyes. ‘She really does love you, Lena. And I’ve spent so many years telling her that revealing her secret identity to her loved ones would only ever put them in danger. Remember that, if you’re mad at her.’

Lena settled onto a visitor’s seat, prim and proper as she’d been taught, and waited. Her gaze travelled all along Kara’s lithe, well-muscled body, accentuated by the blue shirt of her suit. It seemed ridiculous now that she hadn’t recognised the truth before. The only difference between Supergirl and Kara was the clothing; you didn’t even need to think too hard about it, you just needed good vision to see that they were both the same person. But then, perhaps there was more too it. Supergirl and Kara were also different _personas._ Kara was awkward and clumsy and bashful, and while defiant in the face of bad people, she was still appropriately submissive to her superiors. Supergirl, on the other hand, was very much the proud alpha. She was all quiet charisma and strength and relentlessness, National City’s devout protector. She did not trip over her feet or grin bashfully like Kara Danvers.

And then it clicked as Lena realised just how complex Kara really was, how difficult it must be to juggle two very different personalities so convincingly. And Lena knew, oh how she knew, what a mental drain it was to show so many different sides of you to so many different people. She’d been trained to present herself in a way most pleasing to whoever the Luthors had told her to charm, and that mean learning to wear a wide variety of metaphorical hats. Lena had had to be cold and calculated to some, witty with others, and complacent and meek as well. Playing Kara Danvers and Supergirl must a more extreme version of that. So maybe it was just easier for Kara to keep those personalities separate, to distance herself from one role as much as possible while playing the other.

Which begged the question: just who, exactly, was the woman lying prone on the bed before her?

Kara stirred. Lena felt a pang at how drowsily beautiful she was, with her blonde hair mussed up and a soft expression on her face as she rose to wakefulness, still bathed in the reassuring light of the sunlamps.  

‘Kara?’ Lena said, hesitantly.

Kara blinked awake, and briefly froze when she found Lena staring at her. ‘Lena!’ She tried to sit up, then grimaced at the pain and put her hand on her belly. ‘Ow, ow’-

‘Kara, stay down,’ Lena said gently, coaxing her back into a lying position. ‘You’re still injured. Do Kryptonite wounds usually take this long for you to heal?’

Kara nodded, her eyes clouded with pain. ‘Lena, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry- you deserved better than to find out like this, I promise I’ve been wanting to tell you for months but I haven’t had the guts to just say it’-

‘It’s alright,’ Lena said, placing a hand on Kara’s sternum to make sure she didn’t get up and hurt herself again. ‘Look, it’s my fault you got stabbed with Kryptonite, so I can hardly be mad at you for keeping your secret.’ Lena laughed bleakly. ‘Wow, I just remembered. In one of our first meetings, the first piece of tech I showed you was an alien-detection device. That- wow, that must _not_ have made a good impression. No wonder you didn’t tell me you’re an alien.’

Kara huffed. ‘It wasn’t that. I mean, maybe I was a little unsure at first, and the whole Kryptonite thing kind of shook me, but… I think I just wanted someone I could really _be_ with. I know it’s selfish, but I just needed to be able to breathe and be Kara Danvers with someone who didn’t know I’m Supergirl.’

Lena’s face softened. ‘I was a refuge,’ she realised.

‘Well… yeah.’ Kara sighed. ‘You _are_ my best friend, Lena, and I want you to know that. Everything I ever said to you, aside from the Supergirl thing, is true. You really are good, and I really do have faith in you. I didn’t lie about that.’

Lena’s chin quivered against her will. She leaned down and pressed her forehead against Kara’s, their hands meeting; their fingers entwined. Lena was unused to expressing physical affection, at least until Kara had canon-balled into her life and made her realise how touch-starved she really was. But she was learning, and instead of going stiff and avoiding contact like she used to, she welcomed Kara’s close presence. Even if it did make her pulse flutter.

‘Everything you’ve ever said to me,’ Lena breathed. ‘Kara, I was the person you called when you were dying. Do… do you remember what you said?’

Kara’s fingers tightened around her own. ‘Yeah. I do. And that’s true, too.’ A moment of silence. ‘I love you.’ Kara pulled her head back slightly, studying Lena with an intense, electrifying blue gaze. ‘I thought I was going to die, Lena, I thought I was going to die alone. And I wanted to hear your voice before I went.’ Her breath shook slightly. Her eyes were glistening with tears. ‘And it made me realise I can’t ignore my feelings anymore. Life’s too short for that. I love you, Lena Luthor, and I’m _in_ love with you, too. You’re so beautiful and talented and brave, and you don’t seem to realise just how good you are, but I hope one day you do, because you deserve so much better than what you’ve been given. And you’ve done extraordinary things with what you _have_ been given; you’ve turned your family company into your own thing, a force for good, even when it looked like a hopeless cause, and that’s incredible, and _you’re_ incredible.’

Lena released a shaky breath. Her mind was desperately playing catch-up with all that Kara had said, and right now she couldn’t think of a way to express her emotions as earnestly as Kara just had. But she needed to show Kara that her feelings were very much requited, that Lena was _so very much in love_ with her best friend as well.

‘Oh, Kara,’ she said softly, and cupped Kara’s jaw. She leaned in slowly, giving Kara enough time to back out if she wasn’t ready yet. But Kara didn’t pull away; their noses made contact, and their chins, and Lena was just feeling the softest brush of her lips against Kara’s-

‘Hey Kara, are you awake- Oooohh, I’ve interrupted something, don’t mind me.’ Alex backed out of the bay, but they could still see her waiting through the glass.

Kara’s breath warmed Lena’s cheek as she chuckled. ‘Uhm’-

They untangled, Lena briefly ghosting her lips along Kara’s cheek. ‘I think your sister wants to check up on you. And I need to get back to L-Corp so my employees know I’m not dead.’ She squeezed Kara’s hand. ‘I’ll see you tonight?’

Kara nodded. ‘I’ll text you later. If I can convince Alex to let me go home, we can have a movie night.’

Lena smiled. The mention of texting reminded her that she still had Kara’s phone, so she pulled it out of her pocket and handed it back. ‘Sounds perfect.’

Kara watched as Lena whisked away, her heels clacking lightly in that familiar footfall pattern that Kara hadn’t even known she’d memorised. Alex nodded curtly to her, and re-entered the bay.

‘How are we feeling?’ Alex prompted.

‘Much better,’ Kara admitted, glad that she was with her sister after thinking that she might never see her again. ‘Uh, how long have I been out?’

‘Three days.’

Kara’s eyes widened. ‘Three days? Oh, Rao, no wonder Lena looked so worried.’

Alex’s eyes softened. ‘I put you in an induced coma to increase healing speed and reduce the pain.  There’re still some Kryptonite toxins in your body, but your vitals are strong and you’re responding just fine to the sunlamps.’

‘Right. Ugh, I feel like I’ve been hit by a freight train.’

‘Yeah, you would. The wounds are pretty nasty, but they’re clean and you’re already healing them. With a little more time under the sunlamps, they won’t even be scars.’

‘Thank you, Alex.’ Kara’s voice shook as the memory slammed into her again. ‘I thought I was dying. I was so scared, Alex, I thought I’d never see you all again.’

Alex gripped her hand- a familiar, grounding sensation that immediately settled Kara’s breathing. ‘Hey, champ, you know we’re not gonna let you die on us. Not after everything you’ve been through. Alright?’

Kara sucked in a deep breath. ‘Alright.’

Alex checked on Kara’s wounds- another familiar process. Alex’s fingers were sure and soothing against her belly as they inspected the wounds, and Kara was vividly reminded of the first time Alex had expressed interest in medical science. Kara had often been Alex’s practice subject when learning how to properly wrap bandages and splint limbs.

‘So, is there something else you’d like to tell me, Kara?’ Alex said eventually, a light smirk on her lips. ‘I seem to recall you and Lena leaning in rather close…’

Kara blushed. ‘It wasn’t what it looked like.’

Alex looked utterly unconvinced. ‘Sure. And she totally wasn’t the only person you called when you were dying, either. Look, Kara, I’ve noticed you _looking_ at her, and at other women. And you’ve never seemed hugely invested in your previous relationships.’ Alex gnawed her lip. Like Lena, she wasn’t exactly a natural at expressing herself. ‘You don’t have to tell me anything yet if you’re not ready, but… I’ve been there. And bottling up your feelings, your desires, it just doesn’t work. Not in the long term.’

Kara just swallowed and nodded. This conversation was a long time coming, and considering recent events, she was unwilling to drag it out any longer. ‘You know what? I _do_ need to tell you. I’m bi, and I’m love with Lena.’

Alex just smiled. ‘Welcome to the club. I’m proud of you, sis.’

 

Lena looked up from her desk to check on the skies, as was her habit. She’d been texting Kara back and forth for the past few hours, and Kara had just been released from the medical bay and wanted to meet. She’d told Kara that she was still at work; Kara hadn’t replied yet, so Lena kept checking her phone whilst working on the major points she wanted to discuss with her tech department tomorrow.

And then she heard the familiar ripple of a cape in the wind, and looked up again; she grinned as a red-and-blue figure hovered outside her balcony, waving at her.

Lena gestured for her to come in. Kara hovered inside, bringing the smell of deep-fried food with her; sure enough, she was carrying take-away bags full of Chinese. Lena’s stomach rumbled as if on cue.

‘Hey there,’ she said, reaching out a hand to stroke Kara’s cheek as she alighted on the floor.

‘Hey, you,’ Kara said softly. ‘I brought dinner.’

They stepped closer together, and Lena’s body ached with the need to be closer, to embrace Kara and seek the comfort she’d always so willingly given.

‘C’mere,’ Kara whispered, and drew her into a hug.

Lena sighed and nuzzled into her neck, memorising her scent as it washed over her. ‘I’m sorry,’ she choked out.

‘What for?’

‘The Kryptonite. For not getting rid of it, for exposing you to its danger, for not listening to you, for thinking I always know how to fix things when I can’t, you almost died and I’m so sorry’-

‘Hey,’ Kara said, stroking her back. ‘I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you my true identity, for overreacting about your work with Kryptonite even though you knew it would help us bring down Reign, and it _did_ , and Lena, you usually _are_ right, and I should have trusted your judgement.’

‘Yes, but I should have destroyed it the moment Reign was defeated. Instead, an enemy got into my vault and used the Kryptonite against you, just like you’d feared. You were right about that, too, just as I was right about using it to defeat Reign.’

Kara just squeezed her tighter. Lena could feel the strength in that hug, the strength that Kara was holding back, and it sent a sharp thrill down her spine.

‘We both messed up,’ Kara agreed. ‘But now our secrets are in the open, so let’s eat and wallow in our combined misery.’

‘Sounds perfect,’ Lena sniffled, and unwillingly extricated herself from the hug.  

They settled on the couch and pulled out the plastic containers stuffed with delicious Chinese food. Lena smiled at the ten or so containers in Kara’s bag. Now her extraordinary appetite made sense. And that, it seemed, was the trigger to a long list of questions that Lena had been subconsciously thinking of.

‘So, what’s your birth name?’ she said, hesitantly. ‘Surely, you didn’t get Danvers from Krypton.’

Kara chuckled. ‘My birth name is Kara Zor-el. I was born into the House of El, and my parents ingrained in me a love of science. I was in my father’s lab constantly, fascinated by everything he built and studied, and I’d always looked up to my mum. You really should meet her someday- she’d love you.’

‘You think so?’ Lena said, doubtfully, as she twined noodles around her fork.

‘Of course! Maybe I’ll convince her to visit earth again. You could talk about tech and complicated families and everything under the sun. She’s so smart, Lena, just like you.’ Kara was looking at her intently again. ‘Okay, your shot. Tell me something new about yourself.’

Lena swallowed. Her hands trembled slightly as she put her fork down, but apparently now was the time to be getting raw and emotional with each other, so she decided to bite the bullet. Bite the bullet with something that had haunted her for twenty years. ‘I let my mother die,’ she whispered, and immediately cursed herself. Kara had just told her about her wonderful, still-living mother, and here Lena was, reminiscing about the death of her own.

But Kara’s gaze just softened. ‘What happened?’ she urged.

‘We were at the lake. We were at the lake, and I was scared of the water, so I stayed ashore while mum went to swim.’ Her lip trembled, and she felt Kara take her hand. ‘And she never came back up. She never came back up, Kara, and I did nothing, what kind of child just stays there and _does nothing’-_

Her voice was caught by her own thick sobs, and she felt Kara wrap her arms around her again, enveloping her in that inhumanly strong embrace.

‘Lena, you were four,’ Kara said, rubbing circles down her back. ‘You couldn’t swim, and even if you could, you couldn’t have dragged your mother out of the water.’

‘I could have screamed, ran, done _something,’_ Lena insisted, her voice muffled in Kara’s shoulder. ‘But I just stood there, hoping she’d come back up, and she didn’t, Kara, she didn’t.’ She was vaguely aware of her fingers curling into the fabric of Kara’s suit, of the eternity of sobs building in her chest. Logically, she knew it was only a matter of time before she broke down like this; she’d been unable to properly grieve for her mother since the Luthors took her in, and that, combined with the stress of rebuilding L-Corp, and more recently with Kara’s near-death experience, had been too much. Twenty years of grief and emotional abuse collapsed inside her like a dying star, threatening to overwhelm her in its supernova.

‘You were four, Lena. You were basically a baby, and I admit I don’t know much about human children, but that’s still incredibly young. Too young to do much to save a full-grown adult.’

Lena stayed curled up in Kara’s embrace for a full ten minutes until her sobs subsided, and she finally felt that she could face the harsh light of her office again.

The rest of the evening went on in a similar manner; the food went largely uneaten even by Kara as they did, indeed, shamelessly wallow in their collective misery. Lena learned that Kara sometimes still had panic attacks about witnessing the last moments of Krypton, especially when she was confined in small spaces that felt too much like the pod she’d been kept in for twenty-four years. And she learned even more about Kara that night, so much more, and she returned the favour by opening up about her own life, about her high school and college years, and the general trauma of living under Lilian Luthor’s strict thumb.

The night ended with them both curled up on the couch, fast asleep and utterly emotionally drained.

Jess came in bright and early the next morning, and nearly had a heart attack when she saw her boss snuggled under Supergirl and her red cape. She took in the scene for a long moment, accepted it as the new normal, then started collecting the paperwork. The only problem now was deciding whether to wake the strange pair up, or if she needed to push back Lena’s schedule for the day.

 

The previous night had been too raw, too emotionally unstable. They’d mutually decided that it had been the time to witness each other in all their vulnerability, to truly get to know each other with all barriers removed.

Which meant that that had not been the time to indulge in their first kiss.

So Kara invited Lena to an official date on Saturday evening, with the intention of finally, _properly,_ courting the CEO.

Unfortunately, the prospect left her a nervous wreck.

‘You’re going to be fine,’ Alex said, halfway through helping Kara decide which outfit to wear for the night. ‘You’ve already established that you want each other, and you’ve cleared the air pretty thoroughly regarding your mutual secrets.’

‘But what if it’s not enough?’ Kara stressed, barely even looking at the dress Alex was now picking out. ‘She’s a billionaire CEO, Alex! She could be dating someone in her league!’

‘And she chose you,’ Alex said firmly. ‘And you, Kara, are no little fish yourself. You’re a celebrity. You’re Supergirl. You can definitely date Lena Luthor. Now, let’s get you spruced up.’

Kara squirmed. ‘I’m not so sure about the dresses,’ she said quietly.

Alex tilted her head, eyeing Kara critically again. ‘What about a fancy jacket and jeans combo? I saw a nice white denim jacket in there that could work.’

Something about that idea soothed Kara. ‘Yeah, that sounds good. More comfortable.’

Alex nodded. ‘Okay. Now we just need a shirt.’

‘Alex?’

‘Mmm?’

‘Do you think it’s… ugh, I dunno. Lena will probably be wearing a super-glitzy dress. Her date should be wearing something just as upper-class, and I don’t have anything like that.’ Kara gestured at her body, frustrated. ‘I just- I can’t pull off those kinds of dresses, and I’ve always felt more comfortable in shirts and slacks and nice pants. But I don’t wanna make Lena look unimpressive, either. She deserves someone as _elegant_ as her, but I just always feel more comfortable in something...’ Kara squirmed, ‘more masculine, I guess?’

Alex put her hands on Kara's shoulders. ‘Hey. Look at me. You look great in your clothes, and you actually dress pretty well.’ Alex glanced down, trying to find the words. ‘I get it, Kara, I really do. I’m not really one for dresses, either. But you can feel comfortable and look great, too. There’s nothing wrong with being more on the butch side of the spectrum; it took me a long time to realise that, and I’m sure Lena would love seeing you in all your glory.’

Kara swallowed. ‘Okay. Let’s do this.’

 

Lena was more nervous than she’d ever been on a first date. When Kara had arrived at the door of their favourite restaurant, she’d practically swooned in her arms. Kara had never looked more gorgeous: hair in loose waves, her neck and jawline accentuated by a neat black collared shirt, a white denim jacket, and Lena’s personal favourite pair of grey slacks, complete with belt. Part of her wanted to sneak Kara back to her apartment so they could do not-so-PG-rated things together, but she appreciated the formality of a dinner date as well.

‘This is so peaceful,’ Lena sighed happily, when she was halfway through her pasta carbonara. The soft ambience, the vague intonations of the background chatter of the other patrons, the rich smells of good food, the simultaneously exciting and calming presence of Kara across from the table, was all combining to draw her into a relaxed lull. ‘Thank you, Kara. I think we really needed this after the week we’ve had.’

‘It was a week from Hell,’ Kara agreed. ‘And we don’t just need this. We _deserve_ it.’ She took Lena’s hand across the table. ‘I don’t suppose you have any ideas on what to do later? I mean, only if you’re not tired, though. We don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to.’

Lena played with Kara’s fingers whilst twining more pasta on her fork. ‘Hmm… now that you mention it, I was rather hoping we could snuggle up on the couch and watch the new Mowgli movie on Netflix.’

‘That sounds perfect.’

Half an hour later (Kara insisted on getting desert), and they were finally leaving the warmth of the restaurant. Lena began to shiver almost immediately; the breeze was a lot colder than when she’d arrived, and the night chill had set in.

‘Right, you must be freezing,’ Kara said, taking off her jacket. Lena gratefully accepted it, sighing at the warmth as Kara wrapped it around her shoulders. She could feel Kara’s considerable body-heat in the jacket now sinking into her skin, and it was delicious.

‘C’mere, you,’ she said softly, placing her hands on Kara’s hips. She stepped forward, backing Kara against the wall. Their gazes held each other for what seemed to be an eternity; then Kara put her hands around Lena’s shoulders, drawing her in closer and closer until their bodies were almost flush against each other. Lena dropped her forehead on Kara’s, an uncharacteristic giddiness rising in her. She leaned forward, and their lips finally met. The kiss was slow at first as they mapped out the curves of their lips together, and then Kara’s tongue was pressing forward in a bid for entrance, and Lena was a goner. The kiss rapidly turned passionate when Kara licked into her mouth, and if they didn’t stop soon, Lena was pretty sure she’d melt from the desire rapidly building within her.

Finally, almost painfully, she pulled away. She opened her eyes, and felt something like awe when she met the image of a fully wrecked Kara: kiss-swollen lips, Lena’s lipstick on her mouth, her hair all mussed up.

‘Would it be presumptuous to ask… your place or mine?’


End file.
